It is no secret that in the last couple of months, my world has devolved. By devolved I mean that every aspect of my life has slowly gone awry. I have lost friends for a variety of reasons, I have found myself with not a lick of food in the cabinets, my children are having problems I can only cry about, my relationship with my husband….well, we will just leave it at that. Every deep and meaningful thing is being shaken. To top it all off, I have health problems that seem to escalate every day, no matter what I do. I’ll level with you, incessant hot flashes leading to a lack of sleep and some strange itch all over my body is not what I needed…not one little bit. If I didn’t know the power of manifesting the worst I would say I am ripe for a case of shingles. The stress is crazy crazy crazy. To make matters worse I have been betrayed and abandoned by atheists and Christians alike. I just keep asking myself….really?
I was feeling like a victim: a victim of the world, a victim of my own making.
So I am sitting here this morning feeling sorry for myself. Alone. Feeling like I had no power and that I could do nothing about it but be victimized. Then….I spoke with my therapist and then I had a session with my life coach. We started talking about boundaries and it came to me as clear as day…I am a victim because I refuse to make and maintain any boundaries in my life. In fact, I let other people manipulate me to the point that I accept their boundaries for me as my boundaries. In one clear and decisive moment, I said no more
In two very tense and stressful situations, I reclaimed my power through a set of emails. I put my foot down and ceased allowing others to negotiate my boundaries.
Literally, the second I put the proverbial pen to paper, my mood changed. I was no longer the victim. I was doing for myself and deciding for myself what I thought was right. I felt light and whole and good. I had control over my own life…heck over where and when I will go to certain locations. I stopped allowing people to dictate my voice and my movements and suddenly I was free. It was like a leash was removed from around me.
Now…don’t get me wrong, I have no more conquered this boundary thing than flew to the moon. If I had 21 chains tying me to the floor, only a few shackles flew off. However, I took a little, itty, bitty, baby step for me! And oh how delightful it felt. Suddenly, I can breathe. Suddenly, I can decide for me. Suddenly I can deal with the rest of this shit storm of my life. The joy has returned…..The power of boundaries is amazing!